Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Operation Secret Santa ™

Mission objective:
1. Surprise Babe!
2. Fulfil her wants this holidays
3. Get her an awesome present
4. Get to work on time

1. Queensbay Mall

Mission duration:
2 days ending 24 December 2009
Mission log
Day 1:
1900 hrs I rushed out from the office warzone. This mission would be a covert solo mission. The targets have been located. After camouflaging my transport vehicle amongst the sea of other metal junk, I quietly proceeded to target number 1.

1930 hrs Target 1 accquired. I took by brute force a poor hostage. I put up a struggle but he was fierce. He looked at me with a grin but I was fast. It wasn't long before he surrendered.

I wasn't swayed. There shall be no mercy and the mission must go on as planned.

1945 hrs Target 2 spotted. Reaching low into the abyss, I climbed down to the trenches to find an elusive relic that is rumoured to be the fountain of youth itself. You feel younger just by holding it. What a treasure.
Fine print: Users may exhibit dependence.

2000 hrs I needed someplace to stash my bounty. I met an old friend not far from where I picked up the fountain of youth. He might be old, even older than most of us, but it seems like he did not age a day. I was feeling really tired after a day of battle. But this old friend's smile kept me going. Target number 3 came peacefully.

2030 hrs It feels as if someone was following me. Well duh, it was a frigging packed mall. But anyway, target number 4 awaits somwhere in the labyrith. People call it Popular for some reason. No matter. Like a needle in a haystack, I saw this shiny beacon, a glimmer in the mountain of black books. I found it! The one book it plan it all!

Within this book lies the power to plan your year one day at a time gain vision over all the Earth (It has a kewl mini map inside! wee!)

Collateral damage:
I escaped the battlefield only with a pair of tired legs and a hole in my pocket. Command reports that our mission secrecy has been compromised. Spies from the other side has informed babe!! Nooo.. but the surprise is not ruined yet. I retreated back to base.

Day 2.

0700 hrs No time to loose, before the dawn broke, I was already up sealing the package. No time to wrap surprises after office hours! It was now or never!

0000 hrs Merry X mas Bb!!

Mission accomplished.

Operation VT ™

Mission Objective:
1. Survive Taxation Internship
2. Learn about tax
3. "Learn" to pay tax
4. Prevent global warming

The Battlegrounds: The bottom of the corporate food chain :( PwC Penang, Bangunan KWSP (EPF Building)

Mission duration: 8 weeks ending 5th Feb 2010

Civillians: Senior executive director, executive director, senior consultants, consultants,associate consulatants aka fresh graduates, other vacation trainees.

Possible casualties:
My dignity
The forest

Calculator, pen, pencil, PC

Scouts report of a photocopy machine pledging support. Printer pool 3 on standby and active on command.

Mission log:
Day 1:
0800 hrs Target location suspiciously quiet. Orders are to report in at 0830 hrs. Reported in for active duty. Spent the day studying logs and noting protocol. = Boring

Day 2:
0900 hrs Training exercise begins. Like bootcamp, the senior officers took me through office work like hurdles and ropes. It was an uphill climb as my head started to feel saturated with the power of the office boy! Feel like i'm turning into one.

Day 4:

0830 hrs War! the battle begins. Engaged from all sides, I had to adapt or become fish food. The dark side of the office was overwhelming. The panel of perfectionists drained the life out of me with the compulsive desire for perfection. I could feel another tree being felled and turned into a stack of A4 paper as the evil printer drank paper like water.

Day 30:

0830 hrs Pulau Pinang Clinic is actually Gleneagles Hospital! Went in to audit the Hospital and found out it is worth $XXXXX.XX . Yeap, as auditors, you cant just go around telling people what companies are worth! Squashed into a corner of the office, Hooi Choo, my Si Mu got me busy with just looking for documents in a cabinet. OMG.. they have like 10,000 files in there!! And sometimes its like looking for a needle in a hay stack!! I left early, they stayed till 11pm and work on Saturdays and Sundays as well. eeek!

Day 40:

1900 hrs Zion, the War is over, and we survived! Yes I officially survived 8 weeks of being an intern with PwC. What a memorable experience! Time to sleep!

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